I work at CVS Pharmacy as a “Pharmacy Technician Trainee” (that’s what the nametag says) and I honest to God love my job. I love rotating stations, helping people, and working in healthcare. There are, however, a few things I’ve observed in my two weeks of working.

Yes, this is copied from my Facebook (if you’re friends with me) and writing it actually took away all of the stress I’ve built up over the past week. Working in Public Service is hard, but add on medication and insurance companies… oh shiiiit. Haha.

Disclaimer: The following is rated R for excessive swearing and ranting.

A few things I’ve noticed at work.

1. When you say “I have a prescription” this translates to “I am picking up ONE prescription.” When I walk over to you and you say, “I have four,” the smile on my face when I say, “Oh, no problem!” is fake. Very fake.

2. You are at CVS. “Do you have a CVS card?” – “OMG I DO *frantic searching*” Really? Allow me to pretend you’re not the 100th person to do that.

3. We are supposed to assist all customers within a minute. When you come to the Pharmacy and unload your shopping cart and you get a frustrated look from me, don’t worry. It’s not YOU I’m upset with. Just your common sense.

4. I don’t know how to spell your fucking name. Slow. Down. and start again. First three letters of the last name, first three of the first. If it’s a foreign name, don’t get offended when I ask you to write it down for me. I just need to make sure you get the right medication so I don’t get written up.

5. DROP OFF. CONSULTATION. PICK UP. You CANNOT drop off a prescription at PICK UP. You CANNOT pick up a prescription at DROP OFF. CON-SUL-TAY-SHUN. What does it mean? It means “I HAVE A QUESTION FOR THE PHARMACIST.”

6. I cannot answer your questions. Though I am certified to save your life, I cannot tell you how to put on a band aid. Let me get the Pharmacist.

7. It is not my fault your prescription costs so much. This is your insurance company. If your prescription didn’t go through insurance, this is actually your fault because it means we didn’t have your insurance card. “But no, it’s the insurance company’s fault!” No, it’s yours. You picked the insurance company, you fucking deal with it.

8. When I tell you, “I don’t see your prescription in the computer. Head on over to drop off,” DON’T FUCKING ARGUE. I DON’T see it and I CAN’T tell you where it is. Go. To. Drop. Off.

9. It might be funny to watch me run around trying to find your prescription. If you know it’s going to be in a brown bag or in the fridge, you can totally let me know. It’s actually really helpful.

10. The Drive Thru is actually slower than waiting in line. Why? The person on Drive Thru is also on Production (pulling and filling prescriptions.) If they are in the middle of filling a prescription, they will answer the phone, “Welcome to CVS, I’ll be right over”, finish filling the prescription, label it, and hand it to the Pharmacist. If inside is swamped, it goes “Welcome to CVS, I’ll be right over”, finishing prescription, helping Pick Up (customers IN the store come first), then Drive Thru. Pedestrians first.

11. Don’t get pissed off when we have to ask the Pharmacist for change. Most people pay for their prescriptions with credit or debit cards, so we don’t always have money. We can only keep 2 $20s in the drawer at a time, we almost never have $10s, we always have at least three $5s, and we always have at least 30 $1s. I have given back $12 in $1s before.

12. You getting pissed at me about something isn’t going to help anything. I’ve been pissed all day. You get to go home, call and complain, and go about your evening or whatever. I have to stand there for another seven hours and listen to the same shit all day long.

13. It’s not my fault your doctor never called and your prescription isn’t ready. Who didn’t call? Your doctor didn’t call. Don’t fucking give me shit because your doctor doesn’t care about you.

14. It’s not my fault your insurance company didn’t approve your Adderall prescription because you ran out a WEEK EARLY.

15. The Pharmacist is the boss. If you feel like a technician isn’t being clear or something’s up, just ask for the Pharmacist. Hell, I usually ask for the Pharmacist myself to come over and explain (what the fuck do I know), but there are a few techs I wouldn’t trust as far as I could throw them. Just ask for the Pharmacist. It’s okay.

16. I personally have to repeat back names beginning with C or K. For some reason, the letters swap in my head. Don’t sit on your high throne and get pissy when I ask you to spell it again. Do you know how many names I’ve heard today? Cut me some slack.

17. Do. NOT. Take the prescription from the tech to see if it’s the right one until your address is confirmed. See #18.

18. You are not the only “John Smith” at the pharmacy. I had one man come up to me “Gentili.” I had to ask “First name?” and he went “UGH! IT’S *whatever it was*” Dude, calm the fuck down. I asked because I just saw THREE GENTILIS with different male names.

19. If you pick up multiple prescriptions, sign EACH line individually. If we get audited and someone signed “JOHN SMITH” over four different lines, we only get paid by the insurance company for one of the medications, and it’s usually the cheapest one.

20. Listen to your automated phone calls from start to finish. I am so sick of “I got a phone call from CVS but I didn’t listen to it. I figured my prescription was ready” and me going “The phone call was because your insurance rejected it” and then the person getting pissed.

21. Don’t give me that nasty look when I use hand sanitizer. I’m touching filthy money all day and I don’t know where the fuck you’ve been, but you’re using my pen.

22. I can tell right away if you’re going to piss me off. So far this week, I’ve been spot on. There’s just something about the way a woman holds herself and approaches you that screams, “Hi, I’m wicked obnoxious and my voice is ear-splitting.”

23. You are NOT being judged regarding your medication. So many medications pass before my eyes that they blur together. It doesn’t matter how many or what the medication is, I don’t care. I do, however, usually feel wicked bad for people when I’m filling a prescription for someone who needs vaginal ointment or something. That’s just gotta suck.

24. You’re in a Pharmacy. I know we have a Minute Clinic. Please, cover your fucking mouth when you cough or sneeze.

25. If any of the Technicians seem off the walls, it’s probably because we’ve consumed mass amounts of energy drinks or coffee.

26. We have Pharmacy Inside Jokes. Today’s joke was, Tech 1: “Well, I WAS having a good day up until 2pm” Me: “I bet I can guess why” Pharmacist: “HAHA I bet you can!”

But you’ll never understand, because it’s an inside joke.

27. Please do speak up (nicely) if you haven’t been helped yet. If we’re really busy, someone might forget to look up and see if you’re at Pick Up.

28. If you have children, multiple prescriptions, and a lot of stuff to buy, please please please spare my sanity and just go the fuck up front.

29. It seems whenever someone decides to write a check, I’m the only one available for Pick Up and there are five other people in line. Get plastic, people!

30. You can use your coupons up to six months after expiration, so don’t think you’re clever for slipping that past me. The computer prompts me that the coupon won’t go through, to which I look and see it has expired. I then can’t scan it, but have to input it manually. However, don’t get all pissy when I have to manually enter all of your expired coupons by hand. If you’re going to get pissed, take your coupons to someone who cares.

31. I actually love my job. A lot.

Tags: CVS Pharmacy

This entry was posted on Friday, May 14th, 2010 at 22:24 and is filed under Jobs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.